Q. What's wrong with just hooking up?

A. When you "hook up" for fun, physical intimacy begins to lose its depth, greatness, sacredness, and power to bond two people. Sex is shared as easily as a handshake, and the couple loses all reverence for the sacredness of each other's body. You begin thinking that physical pleasure is basically for fun, and can solve the problem of boredom or loneliness.

This leads to the idea that if two people agree to do X, then it is okay to do it. Often, this is nothing more than two people agreeing to use each other for mutual gratification. They receive the physical pleasure of being held, the emotional pleasure of being desired, and they remain together so long as they are a source of pleasure for each other. This is not far from prostitution.

Pope John Paul II said, "Deep within yourself, listen to your conscience which calls you to be pure . . . a home is not warmed by the fire of pleasure which burns quickly like a pile of withered grass. Passing encounters are only a caricature of love; they injure hearts and mock God's plan." (1)

In the long run, no one benefits from these kinds of "relationships." I read of one young husband who said, "I would do anything, ANYTHING, to forget the sexual experiences I had before I met my wife. . . . The pictures of the past and the other women go through my head, and it's killing any intimacy. The truth is, I have been married to this wonderful woman for eight years and I have never been 'alone' in the bedroom with her."

So, if you want the love you have been created to give and receive, realize that it takes patience and purity instead of impatience and lust. Purity is the guardian of love.
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(1) Pope John Paul II, address, 29 April 1989, Antananarivo, Madagascar. As quoted by López, ed., The Meaning of Vocation, 28.

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