Q. I want to begin to live a pure life, but none of my friends would understand. What do I do, because I don’t want to lose them?

A. I remember meeting one girl who longed to date a nice guy, and she was wondering where she could find one. I began asking about her life, and she said that she was currently dating a guy, but he was a drug dealer, drank a lot, swore a lot, and her parents hated him. Her friends chimed in about how bad most guys are, and gave an example:

“The guys at the parties have been such jerks lately. A couple of weekends ago, they just went up to this one girl and poured a beer on her head. We were all really mad, and then they did it again the next weekend, and again last weekend.”

“So,” I asked them, “What are you doing this weekend?” Their reply? “We’re going to a party.”

Hmmm.

The girls were causing their own problems. We choose our friends. It’s that simple. You might think, “But I don’t want to go hang out with losers.” Not all people outside of your circle of friends are losers. Just as it would not be right for someone to label you because of your friends, it is not right for you to label others, without knowing them.

When it comes to pulling away from your bad friends, I think this tends to happen almost naturally when a person makes a real commitment to Christ. It does not mean that you turn your back on them, but what were once common interests (such as drinking, etc.) cease to be a common interest. I lost plenty of friends when I was a junior in high school and began to take my faith more seriously. The same happened to Crystalina. The following is a letter she wrote to her future husband while she was in high school:

“Beloved,
It’s Friday night and my so-called friends have just left, and I feel incredibly alone! They all came over in their little skirts and tight shirts, wanting me to go clubbing. It was a normal Friday night thing to do. They were drinking and tried so hard to convince me to go, and it was very tempting. I felt pulled in two separate directions, and part of me did want to go. But my other half knew what was waiting for me there. I couldn’t. As they left my house frustrated, I could hear them saying, ‘What? She thinks she’s too good for us now?’ I’m slowly starting to feel like a stranger to my friends. Is all this trouble, tears, and sadness worth it in the long run? Do I really know what I’m doing? I know there is something better than this and I’m trying to see that. But at times like this, it’s hard. I’m praying for you. Know I give all this to you.
Giving you all my love,
Crystalina.”

By breaking off those bad attachments, we both opened the door to find each other, in a better environment. It was a gradual thing, and we both were able to find friends who supported our lifestyle, as opposed to those who had worn it down. So start looking. Don’t fear what you will lose. Hope in what you have to gain.

article from: http://www.pureloveclub.com

An Opportunity of a Lifetime: No Experience or Talent Required!

Looking for an opportunity to make you life great? No money needed. No experience needed. No talent needed. The employer only needs a willing heart! Is it to good to be true? Why not?

When Jesus decided to start His church, the church that will continue His work of salvation, he did not pick the well known figures during his time. Most people who start a company would get the best professional in his field. If Jesus taught like the most of us, the obvious choice to start his Church with was the Pharisees and the Scribes. Pharisees and the Scribes were the primary religious specialist during their time. But Jesus do not think like the most of us.

Jesus decided to start his Universal Church with fishermen, tax collector and other ordinary men. These men had no formal religious education whatsoever. Jesus even chose the most simple and impulsive of them the leader of the pack, Peter. These men argued a lot who was the best of them. They were also slow in their getting what Jesus was teaching and preaching about. One betrayed Jesus and the other denied him. Any normal owner of a company or of an organization would cringe having the Apostles as his leaders and “go-to-guys”. But they are the men Jesus chose to start his Church that would spread through out the world. It was not their experience or the talent that made the Apostles great. But it was God’s grace working through their willing hearts. Now 2000 yreas later we look at them as the great Apostles, the princes of the Church.

We too have the opportunity to be great men and women. God only needs our willing heart for His grace to lift up our talents and skill to a whole new level. Mother Angelica of EWTN always says in the start of her show, “We are all called to be great saints, don’t miss the opportunity.”

So will take the opportunity of a lifetime?

Q. Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

A. You always hear people saying, "My history teacher said that when he first saw his wife across the street, he knew it was love. He walked through the traffic, immediately asked her out to lunch, and proposed to her right there." Stories like this usually make girls teary eyed, like when they see a good AT&T or Kleenex commercial.

But is there such a thing as love at first sight? I guess to answer that you have to define what love is. Most people think of love as this incredible emotion, and in that case, lots of people experience "love" at first sight. But if love is a decision to do what is best for the other, then most people don't even think of it when they first meet a person.

Usually, "love at first sight" is when two people are immediately infatuated, and the relationship ends up working out. But the reason it worked out is not because of that intense first impression, but because they chose to love each other, even when the infatuation faded. The foundation for that love is not the mysterious feeling they had when they first laid eyes upon each other. The foundation of that love is the day-to-day sacrifices and acts of kindness they do for one another.

Occasionally, you have the immediate infatuation that ends up becoming a 75 year marriage. More often, there is immediate infatuation, and a couple jumps into a relationship for whatever reasons, and it putters out when the feelings fade. More often than that is when people have an immediate attraction, and you never end up seeing the other person again.

When it comes to relationships, usually you have two people who meet, and their first thought is not marriage. Over time, they grow to know each other, and love blossoms though commitment. So, what really matters is not that we long for a fairy tale "love at first sight" romance, but that we remain open to what God has in mind for us. He is the author of romance, and his will for us is perfect. The closer we cleave to him, the more our hands will be open to receive the gifts he wishes to give us.

With all that having been said, I do admit that during my very first conversation when I met my wife Crystalina, I though to myself, "Should I tell her now, or later, that I am going to marry her?" I didn't tell her this until a year later, and she shared with me that the same thought passed through her head at the same conversation. I think one reason for this is that we were both taking a clear break from relationships in our lives to pursue the will of God, free from distractions. I had been away from the dating scene for about a year, and she had been free from it for three years. I think that time off and prayer gave us more clarity. But, what makes our relationship last is our decision to love through patience and forgiveness.


article form http://www.pureloveclub.com

20 Ways for Young Women to Claim the Respect

1. Dress in a way appropriate to your dignity. As Crystalina Evert, an awesome chastity speaker puts it, “Don’t walk around sending the message that your body is the best part of you—implying that your heart, mind, and soul aren’t so important. Instead, say with your modesty, ‘I’m worth waiting to see.’”

2. Refuse to sleep with a man until you have his wedding ring on your finger. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, he’ll wait. This respect—both the respect you will have for yourself and the respect the man will have for you—will carry over to your marriage someday.

3. Don’t wear degrading T-shirts with messages like “Who needs a brain when you have these?” (now discontinued because of protests). Consider refusing to buy from stores or manufacturers that make and sell these things. And don’t wear pants or shorts with writing across your bottom unless that is where you want to draw every pair of eyes that looks at you!

4. KEEP YOUR STANDARDS HIGH FOR WHO YOU WILL DATE. A real man will rise to meet your standards, but if you stoop and lower yours to his, you’ll have much to regret, and he will not be challenged to be a better man. You may be discouraged, but amazing men do exist. They are having just as hard of a time as you are at living purely in an impure world. One of them is fighting the uphill battle for you, so don’t let him down. And PRAY for him!

5. Pray to be more like Mary. Was there ever a woman more beautiful and dignified than the Mother of God? Pray 3 Hail Marys a day for purity of mind, purity of body, and purity of heart.

6. Confront any guy who ogles you with his eyes or touches you inappropriately. Rather than laugh at it, firmly (but respectfully and perhaps in private) let him know that this is completely unacceptable. You will be doing him and yourself a favor.

7. Don’t be duped by the media’s promotion of the falsehood that physical perfection is both possible and required. (Check out the Evolution Film at www.campaignforrealbeauty.com to see how much work it is to appear physically flawless.)

8. Don’t go to restaurants where the women (or men) servers’ bodies are put on display to attract customers.

9. DO let a guy be a gentleman. As long as he is holding the door or pulling out your chair with the right spirit, he isn’t saying that you aren’t capable of doing these things yourself. He is saying that you are worth so much that he wants to honor you with his actions.

10. Avoid clothing (even prom dresses or swimsuits) that seem as if they were made for the purpose of allowing men who are not your husband to enjoy the sight of parts of your body God made extra-special and are not to be seen by the whole world.

11. Say a prayer every time you see a woman dressed inappropriately, whether in person or on TV, etc. Pray that she will recognize her true worth, and pray that men will not be led astray by her.

12. Treat each person you meet with respect. Don’t let your kindness or attention depend on the other person’s (girl’s or guy’s) popularity or physical attraction. If you do, you could miss out on amazing and beautiful relationships.

13. Be GENUINE. There will only be one of you for all of eternity, and there is a place that only you can fill—fearlessly be yourself. Your genuineness will be a noticeable quality that will bring others to respect you. St. Catherine of Siena once said, “If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire.”

14. Treat your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Jesus bought you with the price of His blood spilt on Calvary. Don’t make light of that supreme gift by degrading your body through drugs, alcohol, or premarital sex. Be careful not to put yourself in situations where you might do something you’ll regret. Alcohol makes you vulnerable, and there are many girls who have been raped either by choosing to drink or even by having something slipped into their drink. Please, don’t think that it can’t happen to you.

15. Refuse to believe the lies. Satan and the world will whisper lots of them in your ear. (You need to lose 5 more pounds before he will consider asking you out. Your parents don’t understand ANYTHING. You’re just not good enough to be loved.) Sound familiar?

16. Become the woman God made you to be. Work on virtues like gentleness, patience, and courage. As Proverbs 31 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty fleeting, but the woman who fears the Lord is to
be praised.”

17. Show the world that modesty doesn’t equal frumpiness. You can dress cute AND be modest. It may take some extra effort, but don’t let anybody tell you it’s not possible.

18. Be grateful to be a woman! Women have incredible gifts, and you also have qualities and talents unique only to you. Glorify God by developing and using the gifts you’ve been given.

19. Be an example to all of the young girls you know—your sisters, cousins, and neighbors. They deserve better than what the world is offering, and they’re depending on you to model truth and real beauty to them.

20. Most important of all, make Jesus your Best Friend. He’s the only One who is always faithful, and He’ll encourage you as you strive to stand up and claim respect. He’ll give you strength to become who He made you to be, and He’ll pick you up every time you fall.

These 20 suggestions were written by Kristie Wellman, One More Soul’s Coordinator of Youth and Family Outreach and a young woman trying to claim respect herself. You can contact her at Kristie@omsoul.com.

Copyright 2007 One More Soul www.omsoul.com (800) 307-7685

Get Iron Man some cheeseburger

One of my favorite scenes in Marvel’s movie Iron Man was when Tony Stark, Iron Man, arrived back home from his captivity and asked for a cheese burger before anything else. After that short remark of Tony Stark of wanting a cheeseburger, I actually smiled. It is something I experience in my own life. Trials and crisis has the power to strip us down and simplify us. Tony could have asked for a fine meal at a great hotel or luxurious vacation to take the trauma and stress of his abduction, but he asked for a cheeseburger. Tony became a simple man after his kidnapping. He had stopped his “rich playboy” life style and started focusing in what was really important. It was also the time that he started noticing how beautiful her secretary was. Sometimes God permits trials and crisis in our lives to shake us up from our all the meaningless and empty distractions we pursue and consume us. Trials taken the right way can lead us to a better appreciation of what we have. Yes even the cheeseburger. We realize that even though we got all sorts of problems we can still eat a cheeseburger which may people in the world cannot afford. So get me some cheeseburger.

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ and the end.

Q. Exactly how far is too far to go with a girl? Be specific.

A. I will give some specifics, but before I do, we should lay down a foundation. If we are asking how close to sin we can get girls, we are asking the wrong question. We need a change of heart. We need to start asking, "How close to God can I get her? How far can I go to lead this girl to holiness and guard her innocence?" Until we have this transformation of our heart and will, it will be difficult to determine where to set the physical boundaries in a relationship. Also, whenever we operate with the "how far is too far" mentality, where do we usually end up? More often than not, we end up going right up to that boundary, and inching it forward each time we visit it.

We need to remind ourselves that purity is not simply a matter of staying on one side of a line that we have drawn. It is a battle for our hearts and minds as well as our bodies. Just because a guy has not crossed a line, it does not mean that he is pure. It may mean that he has never had the opportunity to cross it.

Anyway, here are a few guidelines for how you can know how far is too far. Whenever you are considering doing something with a girl, ask yourself if you would do that if Jesus were in the room. In our hearts, we all know what is pleasing to God. Also, consider how you would want a guy to treat your future daughter or future bride and treat women accordingly. Let this sink in. Often, we get so involved in intense relationships that it is hard to sit back and really look into our hearts.

Some people assume, "As long as I'm being a virgin, I'm being good." They compare themselves with others who are sleeping around on a regular basis, and as long as they see the world from that perspective, they feel like they're right on track. Meanwhile, they give away bits of themselves in passing relationships, all under the pretense that their friends are worse.

Do yourself a favor: Do not get technical about drawing a line at virginity, and saying that all else goes. If you can't decide if a particular action is "too far," imagine what the look on your future bride's or groom's face would be if you ever told her or him that you shared that act with another person. Make decisions now that would bless the heart of your future spouse, not wound it. (And do not be quick to discuss the specifics of your prior experience with potential spouses; a lot of that information could do far more harm than good.)

So where does the line go? For starters, know that the line begins in your mind. As soon as you begin to lust after a girl, stop. In regards to physical lines, an easy guideline to remember is, "Don't touch what you don't got." Also, I recommend no passionate kissing, kissing below the chin, or lying down together. That may seem extreme to some, but the more you become sensual and physical in a relationship, the more the relationship begins to revolve around that.

I will admit that this sounds a lot like "no," "no," "no," and "no," but think of it like this: There is a highway in California that runs up the coast. It is a gorgeous ride that takes you along the side of a sheer cliff that drops hundreds of feet to the ocean. Imagine that you were cruising along in your priceless sports car, and the passenger with you remarked, "Man, there's another one of those stupid guardrails. And look, another sign saying there's a sharp turn ahead. I hate how the California highway system inhibits your freedom, and tells you what to do." Odds are, you wouldn't let the guy drive your car.

When we hear different moral laws about our sexuality, they are there for the same reason that guardrails and signposts mark a person's drive along the Pacific Coast Highway. If you want to express your freedom as you drive off the cliff, you're free to do so. But the purity of your soul is worth much more than a car. The Church's moral laws are there for our sake, so that we don't fall for counterfeit versions of love.

If you have tried everything else for years, try purity. You will not regret it. Each year I speak to over one hundred thousand teens about dating, sex, and relationships, and I have never met one who regretted what he or she did not do with a date. I've never had a high school girl come up to me in tears after a chastity talk because she did not sleep with her boyfriend. I've never had a guy confide in me that he was scared to death that his girlfriend was not pregnant. They regret what they've done, not what they've saved.

Imagine you were dating a beautiful young woman who you hoped to marry, and she had never kissed anyone because she wanted only her husband to know the touch of her lips. What man would not be flattered by her integrity and purity? What man would send her away to go a little further with the other guys? If we would be so honored by her, why wouldn't we want to honor our future brides in the same way?


article from http://www.pureloveclub.com/

Q. How much kissing is okay to do with a guy?

A. Here are three guidelines already in your heart for knowing how much is too much:

How much would you want some girl kissing your future husband?
How much kissing would you do with Christ present in the room?
How would your boyfriend kiss you in front of your dad?

These may seem like extreme guidelines, but I think they make sense for three reasons:

1. Girls often do not realize that guys are wired very differently when it comes to sexuality. A girl might have a passionate kiss, and be thinking about her warm fuzzy feelings or even about volleyball practice. She has no problem in her mind expecting that it will be able to stop there. Meanwhile, the guy's body works at a much faster pace, and his sexual desires are being ignited. It's a tease. Perhaps the couple will stop the first or second or third time, but gradually the old boundaries will be pushed back because you begin to experience the intoxicating bonding power that God has in store for you in marriage. I have seen too many young, spiritual relationships get demolished because the couple thought that they could safely sit on the fence of purity. So, allow purity to become your superglue.

2. If you do not end up marrying him, you will never regret telling your future husband how pure you were with your old boyfriend.

3. If you do end up marrying him, then you'll have all the more excitement to share within marriage. In the mean time, you’ll spend more time learning how to express non-physical forms of intimacy that will deepen your love.

Take this to prayer if you truly wish to know the will of God as it relates to purity, I know he will show you. We just have to sit still long enough to listen.

source:http://www.pureloveclub.com/

A Man’s Man

Last May 1 was the feast of Saint Joseph the Worker. St. Jo is one of the most venerated saints in the Catholic Church. Let share my personal story with St Jo. There is a church there in Balintawak dedicated to St. Joseph the Worker. I always pass there everyday, since my elementary days. When I began to work I still passed that church. Few years back I was working for an online gambling company who does every now and then some porn related projects. During those times I already came back to my Catholic Faith. I was very uneasy with the company I was working back then. Every time I would pass that St. Joseph Church I am reminded of what the Bible called St. Joseph, “a just man”. I knew if I was a Catholic I cannot be a “just man” working for a gambling and porn industry. So I prayed to God and to St Joseph back then to give me the courage to leave my work. Thanks to St. Jo, I left that job after some weeks.

It these times where there is a crisis in manhood. Where men acts like boys to be men, St Joseph is one solid role model. Men today prove they are men by being “bad boys”. They so consumed by their own pursuit of personal success that they are ready to sacrifice everything, even their love ones for it. How sad. St Jo shows us what a true man is. In the Bible St. Jo did not even said a single word. He just did what he had to do to take care of Mary and Jesus. He worked hard and prayed hard. A real man is man who lives not for himself but for others, specially their wife and children. St Jo did everything for Jesus and Mary. There was no “selfishness” in St Joseph. He was a strong man but did not act like a “bad boy.” Joseph strength of character came from within. He did not need to prove anything to the outside world. What a man! For all those women out there who like bad boys, that’s what you are getting a BOY!

Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

*If you want to repost this blog please include “ From Inspirationalblogs.com “ and the end.

Q. Is it love?

A. The following test was designed by the popular radio talk show host Dr. Laura. After taking this test, you'll quickly know whether your relationship has a good chance of growing into a long-lasting relationship, and maybe even marriage. Print this page, and then answer each question with "yes" or "no." After taking the test, check your score results below. Afterwards, have your boyfriend/girlfriend take the test to see how you compare. Most importantly, be honest! Your future happiness depends on it.

1_____ Can you say there's no jealousy in your relationship?

2_____ Is your relationship free of drug and alcohol abuse?

3_____ Can you say you're never asked to compromise your moral values?

4_____ Do you appreciate and enjoy each other's family and friends?

5_____ Have you discussed your long-term goals for faith, family and career in detail?

6_____ Do you have complete confidence in each other?

7_____ Has experience shown him/her to always be truthful and open with you?

8_____ Does he/she always follow through on promises and commitments?

9_____ Do you talk openly and easily with each other about everything? (Including this test?)

10_____ Do you both listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other's point of view?

11_____ Do you practice the same faith by praying and going to church together regularly?

12_____ Do you both agree that marriage is forever?

13_____ Do you refrain from using manipulation or blackmail to get your own way?

14_____ Do you like spending time together doing different activities? (Not just watching TV, mall shopping or talking on the phone together. I recommend volunteering for church, charity and civic projects -- or joining school clubs, bands, debate teams or sports programs.)

15_____ When you have a disagreement or the going gets tough, do both of you respond respectfully with patience and understanding?

16_____ Have your family and friends told you they approve of your relationship -- that they feel it's making you a better person?

17_____ Do you limit your physical relationship to holding hands and simple kisses?

18_____ Have you seen each other during good times and bad? (Virtues shine during adversity. Never rush to marriage. You'll miss critical signs of good or bad character traits.)

19_____ Do you both stay away from pornographic magazines, videos, internet, etc.?

20_____ If your future spouse had a serious accident that maimed or disfigured him/her for life, would your love remain strong? Could your love survive without physical expression?

21_____ Do each of you dress, speak and act modestly?

22_____ Can you admit your own shortcomings and discuss them openly?

23_____ Are you both generous in making sacrifices for others?

24_____ Does your sweetheart already have the qualities needed to be a super spouse and a wonderful parent for your children?

25_____ Are you willing to give up power and let your loved one control some of the important decisions and circumstances? (True love means frequently surrendering your will to meet your loved one's needs and wishes without violating your moral values.)

Here's the Scoring . . .

Scoring: Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer and zero points for each "no" answer.
(Her score?____ His Score?____)

22 to 25 pts. "Solid as a Rock!". . . It's True Love! Congratulations on a very strong relationship.

19 to 21 pts. "Looking Good!". . . You're relationship has good potential. With a little work, you can become "Solid as a Rock."

15 to 18 pts. "Warning Signals!". . . It might be "Infatuation." Work on the "No's." Take the test again in 6 months and again in 12 months. Hopefully your scores will improve and your relationship will grow. If your relationship doesn't greatly improve within a year, you should consider ending it.

Below 15 pts. "Red Alert!". . . Sorry, this may be painful to hear, but it's probably time to say "goodbye." It's either blind infatuation or there are other serious problems. (If you're married and you scored below 15 points, don't give up -- get some good marriage counseling ASAP.)

** Bonus Question **

Are both of you committed to saving sex for marriage? If yes, add 2 points to your score.

Important Tip from Dr. Laura . . .

"It's difficult to get an accurate reading from my Is it Love? test if you're sexually active. Sex is so powerful that it's often blinding before marriage. That's one of the reasons I say, 'Don't shack up!' If you're sexually active, my first recommendation is to stop having sex immediately. With sex out of the picture, it will be easier to see how each of you responds in the critical areas that build strong, healthy, lasting relationships. It's definitely challenging to save sex for marriage - but it's worth the wait and it helps assure a happier marriage. Go ahead - make the commitment. You'll be glad you waited!"

Used With Permission of Dr. Laura Schlessinger and LoveMatters.com

Q. Is it wrong to flirt with guys?

A. Flirting means different things for different age groups. When I was in second grade, if I liked a girl, I would throw a rock at her. (Fortunately for women, I have since made some progress in this area.) When we matured to the fourth grade, things got more sophisticated: A girl would ask her friend to pass a note to a boy, inviting him to check the appropriate box if he was interested in her. By sixth grade, the tactics were more refined, and a girl might have her friend "accidentally" shove her into a cute boy as they walked out of class. This is all amusing, but by junior high, the girls leave the notes behind as they start to realize what interests guys. This is when flirting can become a problem.

The basic definition of "flirt" is to tease or toy with another; to pay amorous attention to someone without serious intentions. To the degree that one is being impure or dishonest, flirting is wrong. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with letting another person know that you are attracted to him. The problem comes when you lead him on for the sake of amusement or to boost your self-esteem, usually while causing him to have impure thoughts or desires.

If you're attracted to another, be pure and honest in your dealings with him and the Lord will bless your friendship. There is nothing wrong with being playful with the person and going out of your way to meet him. Just make sure your tactics are done with integrity. If you are an affectionate girl, be careful about how you express this. A guy might perceive your affection as a hint that you want him to do more with you. This is because affection usually does not come naturally for guys. It's out of the ordinary, and so the guy may associate it with something sexual.

The best approach is to make your intentions for purity clear, and make sure that your words, your actions, and your outfits convey the same message. Also consider this: Lots of guys will date a flirt, but who wants to marry one? If a girl is flirty toward me, what reason do I have to think that she is not flirting with other guys? A girl is much more attractive if she does not flutter around trying to impress everyone.

One reason a girl may be a flirt is because she wants to be loved. The attention might soothe a wounded self-esteem, but in the end it is like trying to survive on a diet of cotton candy: it tastes sweet but leaves her malnourished. Only God can heal those deep wounds. When a young woman sits still long enough to hear God and when she sees with her heart how he looks at her with love, she recognizes the lewd comments and looks from various guys as nothing more than counterfeit love.

As Mother Teresa said, "Stay close to Jesus. He loves you." By the side of Christ a woman finds her independence. When she stands beside Christ, and he reveals her worth to her, she no longer depends on the approval of random guys to build her self-worth.


article from http://www.pureloveclub.com/