One of my religion teacher use to write in the black board “CHIRT-IAN”. Then he will erase “CHRIST” leaving “IAN”. Then he will continue by saying IAN is the acronym of “I Am Nothing”, that without Christ, “I am nothing”. I did not really understood it then. For past maybe 3 years this was one of my prayers, to realize my nothingness apart God. For me, humility is one of the most beautiful of the virtues. I am a big admirer of humble people, I have them very profound and a blessing to be with. Included in my morning prayer is the “Prayer for Humilty”, something I desperately need. After years of prayer, by the mercy of God I am starting to realize my nothingness. Everything is Grace, St. Augustine said. I am starting to see that every good thing I have ever done was empowered by God’s grace, without the grace I would have not did it. I also came to the realization that without His grace, I am slothful and a big coward. The funny thing about my realization of my nothingness was the feeling of being set free. Most pop psychologist would argue that thinking nothing of yourself is bad for your self image. Well, for it is just simply “being real”, conformity to the reality of God and of ourselves. Right now I feel free. Free? Yes, since I know I am nothing, and God is everything, I can do nothing and He can do all things, there is so much pressure is taken away from me. You see, I know I am to stupid to run my life. Left to my own devices, I know I will mess it up, I have proven this time and time again. Knowing my nothingness now makes me put all my trust in God and not to myself. I know the Father will take care of me, better than I can take care of myself. And even if I mess up, He can make straight with crooked lines. Knowing I am nothing also frees me from my past. I can let go of my past mistake and leave it to God’s mercy, what can a fool do except mess up right. I have become more patient with myself knowing my nothingness, I stopped over estimating myself. It also frees me from my past accomplishments. Why would I want that? Well as I said, I desire to be humble, sometimes my past accomplishments gets into my head. My ego is a heavy burden to bear. Pride is the most deadly of sins. Now I can look back and see that all the good I did was all God’s action. I can smile at the good and the bad and say Job’s prayer “Blessed be the name of the Lord”
This are two of my favorite verses in the Bible, I remind myself of it as much as I can. “Apart from me you can do nothing” and “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me”.
Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)
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